I’m sure that we all define a ‘long term’ relationship differently. But, one thing we can all agree on are the things that happen to us once we’re in one. As we grow more comfortable with and accustomed to each other’s company our behaviours inevitably change. This is a normal response.
Naturally when we’re less tense around someone our walls begin to fall down and we find ourselves putting on less of a ‘show’ for them. Perhaps we stop wearing a full face of makeup everyday, we burp and fart or we complain more.
Liam and I have been together for almost three years and I’d personally define that as long term. Over this time I think we can both admit that we’ve noticed a few changes. Seven, to be precise.
7 Things That Happen In A Long Term Relationship
- You develop inside jokes.
This is an inevitability of any long term relationship; platonic or romantic. You spend so much time together, laughing and joking, that you develop jokes that no one else can understand. Utter extreme in our house and you’ll notice me and Liam exchanging smiles.
- You’re not afraid to be disgusting anymore.
I’m sure there are some exceptions to this rule but this definitely applies to my relationship. There’s only so long you can go without pooping; let’s just put it that way. Then, once the gates open and you become comfortable with each other, there’s pretty much nothing you haven’t seen, heard or smelt that your partner has done.
- You lie to your friends to have a night in.
This is true of everyone I know who is in a long term relationship. I’m sorry but sometimes I really don’t feel like dancing on the bar and shouting “SHOTS” at innocent bystanders. This means that if we’re friends I have probably lied to you at least once about being ‘ill’ or accidentally ‘double booking’ your slot so that I could have a night in on the sofa with Netflix, pizza and Liam.
- You develop religious routines.
I don’t mean this like you get up at 7am, drink coffee at 7.05am etc. When I say routines what I mean is your own little relationship routine. For example Liam will get in and wash up , I’ll make dinner, we’ll eat together and then we’ll binge watch TV shows until one of us decides it’s time to slope off to bed. That’s our religious routine. Rain or shine, in sickness and in health; you can guarantee that is what we are doing.
- You notice more things about each other.
Good and bad. When you spend a lot of time in close quarters with someone you’re bound to pick up on their habits. I for example have noticed that Liam is incapable of putting the cap back on the toothpaste and he has noticed that I pretend that I can’t see the dog ripping a twig apart on the carpet so I don’t have to tell him off. But I’ve also noticed that he likes to surprise me often and do kind things for me, and I hope he has noticed that I will sacrifice the things that I need for the things that he needs when our budget gets tighter before payday.
- You start to value someone else’s happiness more than your own.
It’s true. For most of us a long term relationship is loving and healthy, and when you care about someone a lot you do find that your own happiness can depend upon making them happy. It’s not nice to see the people you love sad or hurt, and naturally we’d rather take that pain for them if we had to.
- You grow as people.
Being in a long term relationship teaches you so much; regardless of the outcome. It might make you realise not to change who you are for anyone, or it might make you understand your tendency to be overprotective. I think that being with Liam has taught me a lot. I’m not as organised, or smart or perfect as I had first thought. I make mistakes and I look a mess sometimes but I have learnt that it doesn’t change the way that I can be loved.
So there are seven changes that Liam and I have gone through in our relationship. Have you noticed anything different since being with your partner?